Deer In Headlights

Since late November, I've traded about a dozen e-mails and met twice with a prospect (I'll call him "Joe") who sells high-dollar computer software. During that time, we've discussed the many problems he's having closing deals, his relationship with his boss ("Mr. Smith"), his quotas that are not being met, the likelihood that he'll get fired soon, his options for taking charge of his life and changing things, and the ways I can help him.
This week, Joe and I traded a few more e-mails, and the puzzle fell into place in my head -- I finally figured out his biggest problem. Since I've seen this problem in a lot of salespeople, I thought I'd share with you the advice I sent Joe today.
Perhaps you know someone like Joe who can use the advice.
--------Original Message--------
Subject: Re: Status
Date: Wed, 22 Feb 2006 09:39:39 -0600
From: Gill E. Wagner
To: Joe Jones
Joe,
I have a piece of unsolicited advice for you. After that, I'll force you to a choice.
If you don't want my opinion, then exercise your delete option before you read this message.
I just read over all the e-mails we've traded and thought through our previous discussions, and what I'm seeing is a deer-in-headlights pattern. Bottom line, you're running scared, and it's destroying your ability to get anywhere with anyone (Mr. Smith or your prospects), because people, like dogs, can smell fear.
You're great at identifying prospects who are interested and willing to talk, but the moment they show their first signs of hesitation, you let your fears control your actions. Once that happens, you switch from helping your prospects make smart choices to trying to get them to buy no matter what. This causes you to not listen to your prospects and to hang on for dear life, which only increases their desire to push you away and find someone else from whom to buy.
You are creating your own worst problem by letting your fears guide your actions. And this goes beyond your interactions with prospects, too. (You won't even ask Mr. Smith for help, because you're terrified that he'll fire you instead of helping you.)
You will never succeed in your current role unless you first let go of your fear. Then, and only then, will you be able to change your behavior, build better relationships and start closing all those deals you're lining up.
The moment you can truly not care whether any single prospect buys is the moment the prospects with whom you are talking will start buying.
The moment you know you can survive getting fired is the moment you can change your relationship with Mr. Smith to one of mutual trust and respect.
Joe, you have what it takes to be successful. You just have to get out of your way and find the confidence I know you have.
As for the choice I mentioned, I'm going to force you into an absolute yes/no decision, because, if I continue to allow you to waffle about your career, I am doing you a gross disservice. Besides, I want to work with you only when you are 100 percent committed to change, and the first step to changing is deciding.
If you want my help turning the corner, you have until 5 p.m. this Friday to hand me a check. At 5:01 p.m., you will permanently lose your choice of ever getting my assistance.
Your call,
Gill
--------End of Original Message--------
It is my sincere hope that Joe will commit to taking charge of his life so he can succeed. Based on my experience and best guess, however, I'll give the following odds:

1. There's a 70 percent chance Joe won't write me a check, won't fix his problems and won't last more than another month or so at his current company. (It's sad how many salespeople have to get fired to finally wake up.)
2. There's a 20 percent chance I goosed him enough that he'll decide to fix his own problems.
3. There's a 10 percent chance he'll write me the check.

Think long and hard about your next sales appointment, and decide how badly you need the sale. If you need it badly, then instead of fretting over that sales appointment, fret over how you'll avoid ever again being in this position.
If you want the best price on a car, you must be willing to walk out of the showroom. If you want the best relationships with your prospects, and a hugely successful sales career, you must be able to walk away from any one sale.
--
Gill E. Wagner, Sage of Selling
President of Honest Selling
Founder of the Yellow-Tie International Business Development Association